just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
