If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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