they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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