so explain again why im purple
no
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
