I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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