I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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