Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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