So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
