just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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