It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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