Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
