No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
