More tranny stories later!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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