Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
