I wannas sexs uuuuu
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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