I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize