come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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