i was rollin on her like bob the builder
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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