Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
