Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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