I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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