I faked an abortion last night.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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