ya dads aren't the best wingmen
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
