Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You were trust falling into bushes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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