Apparently you make a good broom.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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