i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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