i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
only you would photoshop your dick
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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