you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
