You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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