the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
