Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
