I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
