I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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