Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
