I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
