He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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