Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
