a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
