Already got asked if we're dating
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0