I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
