I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED