His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend