Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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