I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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