At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
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Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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