David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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