Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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