I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
