I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
