So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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