is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
