Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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