Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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