Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
