just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
