drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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