You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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