so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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