you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
