how can u be prego again
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize