It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
