did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
