i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
