dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
