went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How external is "for external use only"?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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