dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
